You Won't Understand: Calvin's Story

I woke up to World War III. If I counted it would probably be World War 100. It seemed that every morning my sister and Mom would argue about something stupid. I don’t understand women. Immediately, I got a headache. Why couldn’t they just shut up? I just came home from the hospital. They should be more considerate, but that would be asking too much wouldn’t it? Sometimes they are so annoying and I hate it. Maybe if I went down there, they would stop being loud, and so I did. I passed by a mirror and saw the bandage around my head. I look totally badass.

And I was right. As soon as I got down there they quieted down. I thought that maybe it will be peaceful, but then it got awkward. They were all staring at me. And by awkward, I mean really awkward. So then I awkwardly sat down in my chair. “Umm…” I didn’t know what to say. “Mom, can I have some breakfast?” For some reason, I was all polite. Mom probably thought I was being abnormal too.

“Oh Calvin, sure. I made eggs. I’ll go get them.” I wish someone would do something to this awkwardness. I can’t handle it anymore. I’ll probably have a mental breakdown or something and then have to go back to the hospital.

My sister probably felt the same way. “So…does your head hurt?” I wanted to tell her how stupid that question was. Obviously it hurt. I mean, I was in a car accident right?

“Yeah it hurts a lot, obviously.” I wondered if she would feel stupid now.

This seriously wasn’t helping with the awkwardness and my head started to seriously hurt again. I wanted to go back to sleep. I had an excuse, but then Mom showed up with my food. Finally.

Then there was another problem. I had lost my right arm and I’m a righty. I stared at my food, and then I stared at Mom. Mom and my sister stared back at me. “Aren’t you going to eat?” Why was my sister asking so many stupid questions today? Maybe I’ve just forgotten because I’ve been at the hospital for so long. Whatever.

I remember that before I tried practicing to become ambidextrous. I wish I tried harder. It would be useful now. I stared back down to my food. I hope my left arm would cooperate.