Chinese Internet Slang and other

These days, I've been obsessed with Baidu Tieba and wow. Chinese people love "slang", but they're usually just puns or a change of pronunciation. I will keep adding to this list when I come across/remember new ones, so keep checking back!
My format for this list: "Slang"("pronunciation/pinyin") --> "Actual word (if any)": "definition". "variations"

General
有木有  (you mu you)--> 有没有 (you mei you): is there any
米 (mi)--> 没/没有 (mei/mei you): none
神马 (shen ma)--> 什么(shen me): what
肿么 (zhong me)--> 怎么 (zen me): how
妹纸 (mei zhi)--> 妹子 (mei zi): Little girl, used to sound cuter. The "zhi" can be replaced by mostly any word pronounced the same way. This is also used to replace many words with "zi"
锅 (guo)--> 哥 (ge): (Older) brother. 果（guo)
天朝 （tian chao): China
打酱油 (da jiang you): passing by
路过 （lu guo)/ 飘过 (piao guo): passing by
同志 (tong zhi): homosexual. Literally, comrade.
攻 (gong): the one in a gay couple who "gives". 小攻 (xiao gong)
受 (shou): the one who "receives" 小受 (xiao shou), 受受 (shou shou)

For fangirl/boy purposes
本命 （ben ming): My life, basically the one you love the most.
男神 (nan shen): God, your favorite male celeb.
女神 (nv/nu shen): Goddess

You Won't Understand: Calvin's Story

I woke up to World War III. If I counted it would probably be World War 100. It seemed that every morning my sister and Mom would argue about something stupid. I don’t understand women. Immediately, I got a headache. Why couldn’t they just shut up? I just came home from the hospital. They should be more considerate, but that would be asking too much wouldn’t it? Sometimes they are so annoying and I hate it. Maybe if I went down there, they would stop being loud, and so I did. I passed by a mirror and saw the bandage around my head. I look totally badass.

And I was right. As soon as I got down there they quieted down. I thought that maybe it will be peaceful, but then it got awkward. They were all staring at me. And by awkward, I mean really awkward. So then I awkwardly sat down in my chair. “Umm…” I didn’t know what to say. “Mom, can I have some breakfast?” For some reason, I was all polite. Mom probably thought I was being abnormal too.

“Oh Calvin, sure. I made eggs. I’ll go get them.” I wish someone would do something to this awkwardness. I can’t handle it anymore. I’ll probably have a mental breakdown or something and then have to go back to the hospital.

My sister probably felt the same way. “So…does your head hurt?” I wanted to tell her how stupid that question was. Obviously it hurt. I mean, I was in a car accident right?

“Yeah it hurts a lot, obviously.” I wondered if she would feel stupid now.

This seriously wasn’t helping with the awkwardness and my head started to seriously hurt again. I wanted to go back to sleep. I had an excuse, but then Mom showed up with my food. Finally.

Then there was another problem. I had lost my right arm and I’m a righty. I stared at my food, and then I stared at Mom. Mom and my sister stared back at me. “Aren’t you going to eat?” Why was my sister asking so many stupid questions today? Maybe I’ve just forgotten because I’ve been at the hospital for so long. Whatever.

I remember that before I tried practicing to become ambidextrous. I wish I tried harder. It would be useful now. I stared back down to my food. I hope my left arm would cooperate.

You Won't Understand: Iseul's Story

My name is Iseul Kim. I am writing this now so that nothing will be forgotten, especially not the horrors. So that after all this, people will look back and not make the same mistakes. Learn from them. History should not repeat itself.

At first, it seemed that life on Earth would be perfect. All the diseases were cured, every debt has been cleared, and wars were not fought. Life was indeed like the ones from science movies from the past. It seemed for a while that people as a whole had found a way to coexist with each other and the world.

But then, everything started failing, like things often do when you think it’s too good to be true. Diseases came back, mutated and stronger than ever. Chaos erupted as people did anything and everything they could to stay alive. Teams of scientists tried to create a cure, while others reverted back to praying to their gods. Nothing worked. It was as if the world was going to end.

With cities dying, the rich and elite up above with enough money began to find their own cures. The North Korean government was one of them. Their laboratories were horrific. They were secret and no one wanted to know what went on in there. But somehow, they found a cure. They gave it to desperate people, curing and reviving them, in exchange for work in the government.

The people were all grateful for this cure, and gladly went to work. And then regretted it. My father was one of those people. He brought the whole family with him. I wouldn’t blame him though; there was no way he would’ve known what he had done to us.

With help from the people, North Korea created a huge army and gradually began its conquest. One by one, the countries of Asia were swallowed and North Korea grew. Countries in the other continents could do nothing, but watch. The disease had left them in shambles and the government had no way to assemble a military. Soon, there was a new country. Asia.

By then, I was eighteen years old. Having grown up in North Korea, and considered a native and higher class, I was given extensive education. My intelligence saved my life, but also opened up doors to the worst things. I was given a job as a scientist in the army and forced to live in the government’s buildings. I was cut off from my family. I have no clue what happened to them.

First Impression: Patisserie with No Name 没有名字的甜点店

Synopsis: Tian Tian (Sandrine Pinna) is a pastry chef (is that what they're called?) who just came back to Taiwan from France. (btw: when she speaks some French it makes me sooo happy that I can understand her with my French 2 vocab). She opens the patisserie...and it doesn't have a name. Allen (Liu Yi Hao) got his stuff stolen which caused him to run around (shirtless) and end up at the patisserie. He decides to work there and that's how our OTP meets. Yu Shang Wen (Shiou/ Xiu Jie Kai) is some awesome chef from France and Tian Tian's ex. There are a bunch of mini stories (mostly 1 ep long) for all the different customers.

Review: King Flower 金大花的华丽冒险

Synopsis: Ugly Jin Da Hua (Nikki Xie) has buckteeth and a giant mole and bad hair. She's in love with Lin Guan Jun (James Wen), but he only sees her as a sister because of her looks. Du Liang Yan (Nikkie Xie) falls off the cliff while hiking and dies. Terry (Chris Wu), her fiancé offers Da Hua a chance to become pretty by getting plastic surgery to look like Liang Yan.

Cpop Cdrama Tumblr Blogs

The mandarin entertainment fandom doesn't get much attention from the rest of tumblr (which makes me really really sad), but there are still a couple of awesome blogs! There are probably some more, but here is a list of the ones that i follow.

General
taiwanesefanatic: the first blog i ever followed. has the widest range and covers taiwanese ent and also mainland chinese.
linggluu: an exo, nicky wu and bu bu jing xin fan. has some pretty nice gifs.
c-poppystuff: ok. this is mine, because i like to promote myself. i post mostly taiwanese ent but also other stuff.
cpopcentral: pretty much what the url suggests
pyongland: this is mostly dramas and the actors/actresses
allthingschinese: mostly cpop and the artists

Specific
godfrey gao
bii
bu bu jing xin
leehom wang
jj lin
alien huang

for a better/ more complete list, go to http://cpop-directory.tumblr.com/ 

yeah, that's it

Review: Bad Boy's Diary 恶男日记

Ok. I was so SO excited for this drama. Why? Well of the 3 bad boy's I love 2 of them (JR Chien and Harry Chang). And the plot seemed so inappropriate (the goal in the beginning was for one guy to lose his virginity) and so different from all other TW dramas. And the first couple of episodes were hilarious. And then....