My
name is Iseul Kim. I am writing this now so that nothing will be
forgotten, especially not the horrors. So that after all this, people
will look back and not make the same mistakes. Learn from them.
History should not repeat itself.
At
first, it seemed that life on Earth would be perfect. All the
diseases were cured, every debt has been cleared, and wars were not
fought. Life was indeed like the ones from science movies from the
past. It seemed for a while that people as a whole had found a way to
coexist with each other and the world.
But
then, everything started failing, like things often do when you think
it’s too good to be true. Diseases came back, mutated and stronger
than ever. Chaos erupted as people did anything and everything they
could to stay alive. Teams of scientists tried to create a cure,
while others reverted back to praying to their gods. Nothing worked.
It was as if the world was going to end.
With
cities dying, the rich and elite up above with enough money began to
find their own cures. The North Korean government was one of them.
Their laboratories were horrific. They were secret and no one wanted
to know what went on in there. But somehow, they found a cure. They
gave it to desperate people, curing and reviving them, in exchange
for work in the government.
The
people were all grateful for this cure, and gladly went to work. And
then regretted it. My father was one of those people. He brought the
whole family with him. I wouldn’t blame him though; there was no
way he would’ve known what he had done to us.
With
help from the people, North Korea created a huge army and gradually
began its conquest. One by one, the countries of Asia were swallowed
and North Korea grew. Countries in the other continents could do
nothing, but watch. The disease had left them in shambles and the
government had no way to assemble a military. Soon, there was a new
country. Asia.
By
then, I was eighteen years old. Having grown up in North Korea, and
considered a native and higher class, I was given extensive
education. My intelligence saved my life, but also opened up doors to
the worst things. I was given a job as a scientist in the army and
forced to live in the government’s buildings. I was cut off from my
family. I have no clue what happened to them.
I
remember the day I had to leave. Soldiers were guarding me, making
sure I couldn’t make a last attempt to escape. My family knew we
would never see each other again, but we couldn’t cry. To be able
to work in the government was an honor. We were supposed to be happy
and grateful. The soldiers made sure of it. Smiling unconvincingly, I
was torn away.
After
that, every day was even more of a nightmare. I would wake up on the
floor to concrete walls all around me. Then, my roommates and I would
begin the march towards the laboratory buildings. I tried to numb
myself, but each time was something worse, and I had a heart. There
was no way I could be used to it. But I was selfish. I had to choose
between my life and lives of strangers. Every day I would choose
myself.
My
job was to invent biological weapons. Gases, poisons, injections were
used on prisoners and captives. I would record their reactions and
agony. If they weren’t enough for the government, I had to change
something to increase their pain. My feeling was beyond words.
Every
time I closed my eyes, they were there, asking me why I took their
lives. And they wouldn’t leave. The longer I had worked there, the
more people I’ve killed, the more souls lived on in my mind. I
tried asking them, but why would they listen to me? I was their
murderer. And so they never left me alone. They became part of me,
and they hated me. I finally understood what the phrase “voices in
my head” meant. The voices. I was going crazy.
At
the same time, outside our laboratories, the world was going crazy as
well. The weapons we’ve created were unleashed, and every day, new
captives poured in. Officers would tell us how well we are doing. How
we, the North Koreans, are saving people from their own corrupted
governments.
And
then, the other teams created the most dangerous things. Two things.
First
they perfected time traveling. With that, the government could go
back to learn the secrets, and change the history and future in their
favor. Maybe by the time I have finished writing this, they will have
already changed things. Maybe they will stop me from writing this,
but I will take the chance.
Even
being able to change time was not enough. They wanted total control,
and so they did. Then, the government was able to read people’s
minds. In the past, devices had been invented to do that, but now
they won’t need it. One by one, we were forced to have chips
inserted in our minds. With it, our thoughts and memories could be
found, controlled, and changed.
But
during my surgery, they found the voices in my mind and those souls
wouldn’t let themselves be controlled. The government thought I was
a spy, although no other country could have enough power to have hid
a spy so well. I tried explaining to them, but my words were all
twisted to be against the government. To them, having the voices live
in me was a sign of guilt. Being guilty for working for the
government meant that I was disloyal.
Disloyalty
was dealt with by using the most extreme punishment. I would have
been tortured in several ways, all learned of by using the time
machine. If I had died in the process, I would be brought back to
life. The pain was prolonged, and the weapons I had devised would be
used on myself. Then, at the very end, I would be thrown out. Exiled
and dying.
I
didn’t want to die that way and so I decided to take one last risk.
When I was still a trusted worker, I was taught how to travel through
time with little equipment. The day before I would start the long
process of torture, I was locked up in a room, by myself. I don’t
know how well the privacy was, but it didn’t matter anymore. Either
way, I would be killed.
And
so I created a time machine and left. As I was leaving, I felt
sadness and fear all mixed in with the relief of being able to
escape. As horrible as it was, I was leaving my homeland and my only
connection to my family. My control over time traveling was not good
enough to be able to know where I was going. And then there was the
fear of being found. What if the officials find me and drag me back?
They might torture me, and never let me die.
I
almost went back, but it was too late.
My
body arrived first with this paper still in my hand, and then my
mind. The first thing I realized was that the voices were still
there. They’ve been dragged into a new time period with me, and
they weren’t happy.
I
was in a bed. It was such a weird feeling. In my childhood, I’ve
slept on a dirt floor and later, for years I’ve slept on the cold
concrete floor. And I was wearing a matching shirt and pants. They
had blue and white stripes. Then I saw that the room had no windows,
no decorations. It was better than anything I’ve lived in, but was
this another prison? I sat up. Why would I be here? I needed to
leave.
Then,
a woman showed up, wearing all white. She had a giant smile, but I
didn’t know if it was forced or not. I was beginning to become
suspicious. “Iseul, you’re up already,” she said in English.
How did she know my name? “It’s time for your medicine.” Then I
saw pills in her hand and all the memories of my life before came
back. The voices started screaming.
I
remembered all the things I’ve forced others to eat, and how I
looked on as they slowly died. Was this some revenge? The woman
brought her hand closer to me. My panic started rising. I won’t eat
it! I wanted to scream and plead, but my English wasn’t good
enough. I could only flail my arms. I knocked over the medicine, but
she produced more.
Then
all of a sudden men showed up. My arms and legs were pinned down and
one of them raised a needle. He had such a menacing face. He brought
it down and I felt in slide under my skin. At once the voices quieted
down. The world started to fade.
That
man must have been from the government. He had found me and now I was
going to be dragged back. With my last consciousness, I dropped my
paper, where I hope it would be found.
VALLEY
HOSPITAL
RESIDENT
Name: Iseul
Kim
Date
of Birth: January 15, 1992
Gender: Female
Disorder:
Schizophrenia
More info: Symptoms
include hallucinations, paranoia and disorganized speech.
No comments:
Post a Comment