Break the Glass: Chapter 6

In my dream, there are no such things as Reflections and Bodies. Or maybe I am the Body. Life is so much easier. I can go anywhere, say and do anything I want, without having to make sure that my Body was doing the same thing. It is so great. I am my own person. And a better person. I have courage and confidence. I can say the things in my mind.

I was admiring myself in the mirror. Then I look around, and I'm in the park. Darren's there too. I tell him, without saying anything, that I miss him. And that I want him back. We hug tightly and we twirl. There are flower petals and butterflies flying in the air. It is so beautiful. I never want that moment to end.

Then somehow, we're rolling in a grassy field. I end up under him. He stares lovingly into my eyes. I reach up to him and we kiss for a long time. We start taking off our clothes. I'm wearing a white dress and a white cardigan. Darren is wearing a black shirt and black jeans. We probably look like a yin yang, on top of each other and wearing black and white. Perfect balance and harmony. My cardigan is off and laying crumpled in the grass. I lifted up his shirt. And stop.

His entire body is a ruined mess. He stops moving, and his arms drop to his sides, limp, but I can't take my eyes away. Slowly, I stroke his scars, feeling every bump and very occasionally smooth skin. But everything I touch starts bleeding and melting away. I realize that too late.

He opens his mouth in a silent scream, and disintegrates into nothing. I stare at his empty clothes in my lap.

I start folding the clothes, casually, as if nothing happened.

At that point, I force myself to wake up. This nap did nothing, except to make everything worse. I need a therapist. Really.

Pray for Sichuan, Pray for Ya'an!

 In 2008, Sichuan was devastated by an earthquake. Now, a 6.6-7 earthquake has hit Sichuan in Ya'an. I don't know too many details, but at least 190 people have been killed, and the number keeps rising. Landslides have cut off transportation and communication.

Many Chinese decided to volunteer and go to Ya'an to help out, but this just caused for traffic jams. It's pretty much impossible for the ambulance and other rescuers to get through. Sichuan Transportation even wrote on weibo telling people to stop coming. I find that ironic, that people wanting help are actually making things worse. -_-
What's nice about this earthquake is that all of China is caring about it. People, it seems, are not just greedy and selfish. Godfrey Gao posted a picture of his Nikes shoes on weibo, and I saw a comment blasting him for posting that pic instead of Ya'an. I find it amazing and kind of crazy.
A lot of celebrities have also made statements saying "Jia You Ya'an, we're all with you" but I'm not sure if they actually mean it, or are just doing so for the image. Ehh...
Anyways...
PRAY FOR SICHUAN. PRAY FOR YA'AN

Very short story: Illusions

He looks at the girl in front of him
and wonders if he is gazing with so much
adoration and trust too.
There is a strange affection towards the girl
shimmering in the back of his mind
but he doesn't understand it.
His hand trembles
and he contemplates the thought of caressing her face.
Quickly, it's replaced by the urge to strangle her.
He finds himself repulsed by the thought
but his mind soon accepts it as its own.

Break the Glass: Chapter 5

Dear Diary,

So many things have happened since the last time that I don't even know where to start. It feels like nothing happened. I can't remember anything, or maybe I just blocked it out. That could be true.

I decide to make a list of why I love Darren, to see if all this is worth it. After ten minutes, I look at my list. There was nothing. Well, actually, there were some reasons, but I crossed them all out. They were all obsolete now.

I remember when we first met. I had been walking around the park and then was deep in thought next to the lake. “I wish I can have a reflection,” I had said out lout.

“Sometimes I wish that too.” I hadn't realized there was someone next to me, but I look up and see this beautiful boy. All I could focus on was his dark eyes and white scars.

Then we went on having a conversation about what it meant to be a Reflection. Our first meeting had been so serious, and I felt that he was different and special.

He understood me, but evidently, not anymore.

I once read on the internet that all girls want a bad boy who's only good for them. All guys want a good girl who's only bad for them. I don't think I'm exactly good or bad, but maybe Jolin's right. Maybe I only liked him because I wanted to be rebel. Date a badass or something like that. But I feel that isn't it. His “badness” had caught my attention, but it wasn't the only thing.

Scars fade, feelings fade, I tell myself. It's not a big deal if you can't find reasons to love him anymore. He doesn't. Why should you?

But I keep obsessing over it, because that's just what I do.

Maybe I'm not as independent from my Body as I think. Maybe she still loved him a little after the break up. Now she's moving on, taking me with her.

Then I remember how sad Darren was, how he wouldn't look at me, and how I wanted to cry. Bitch has kept to her word to make our lives miserable.

The phone rings and all my thoughts disperse. No one ever calls me. What is this? I set the empty list down and run to my bed where my phone is. I see the caller ID. It's Ashley.

“Hello?”

“Michelle!” Her voice is urgent. “Something really bad just happened!”

Awesome Album: 韩庚-寒更 Hangeng

I've never been a real fan of Hangeng, but I just watched some videos of his 2012 album 寒更/Hope in the Darkness...what is with me and finding things late? Anyways, now I'm totally in love with him.
This album isn't just one breakup song after another. Some of my favorite songs are about breakups, but it's like the dramas where the main female lead is forced to leave the guy. They're nice, but they get boring and cliched. Instead, this album is filled with songs about chasing your dream and meaningful lyrics.
And now I will profess my love to some of the songs. =)

Break the Glass: Chapter 4

Dear Diary,

Last week was the longest week in my life. That doesn't mean that nothing happened though. There was A LOT of drama. Like, more than necessary. First, Darren's ex pushed her way into my life by becoming friends with Kathy. I usually don't see Kathy after school because she has dance practice, but now, I hardly see her in school. She doesn't even sit with me and Ashley at lunch. I wonder how Michelle feels about this stuff. She's probably going through the same shit as me.

What made me really happy though, is today. For some reason, Ashley's Body decided to take Michelle to a carnival/festival thing. It's as if they knew about the problems I've been having and that I deserve a break. So of course Ashley and I went along too. I'm not really sure what it was, but it was fun. I didn't see any bitches at all, and that was great.

The only awkward part was when our Bodies went in the House of Mirrors. That wasn't as fun. Imagine having to be in hundreds of places at once. I once read a book where people were “unwound”. People's body parts were separated, but their souls were still intact, so they could see and feel and be aware of everything. That's how I felt. Whoever invented this House thing better be burning in hell.

Ok. I admit, that was a bit harsh. But it was horrible.

It was even worse than those weird mirror things where us Reflections were stretched and messed up.

I Love 刘连城 Liu Lian Cheng

So I just watched 倾世皇妃/Glamorous Imperial Concubine (I know, a little late) and I have NEVER 2ND-LEAD SHIPPED THIS BADLY IN MY LIFE. and it has NOTHING to do with the fact that I'm on a Wallace Huo craze right now. 

And about this drama. Everything is just a perspective thing. No one was perfect or innocent, because love is selfish. The evil Ma Xiang Yun (Hong Xiao Lin) did everything because she was jealous of Ma Fu Ya (Ruby Lin), and her crazy-messed up love for Liu Lian Cheng (aka 榴莲城/Durian City). But he hated her for being terrible and trying to kill his love, Ma Fu Ya. She, in turn, hated him, for killing her father and capturing her love. All she thought about was who she loved, which wasn't Lian Cheng. And Meng Qi You (Yan Kuan), I don't want to talk about him.

Ma Fu Ya did not deserve Durian City's love. Ok. So, to me, he is the "broken bad boy". He was hurt so badly and in order to protect himself, he became the cruel, heartless person he was. But deep down, he was an amazing person, and just needed some love. But no one would give him that love. Even though he did everything for that girl.

Vic Chou Admits to Dating

Recently Vic Chou was on the AnHui TV talk show "非常静距离/Fei Chang Jing Ju Li" (have no clue what the english name is" for the new movie Saving General Yang. Of course the host asked him about his love life. This is what basically happened. (Video below)
Host: Do you have a girlfriend?
Vic: Yeah
(This is where I start freaking out. Kind of.)
Vic: I have a good relationship.
Host: With who?
Vic: With everyone.
I don't really get that. But he did admit to having a girlfriend, right? And I'm guessing it's Reen Yu, since there's been so many rumors and pictures and everything. I didn't really pay attention to her in Black and White, since she was just the hamburger girl-who Vic's character was in love with-who was actually evil. But I guess they'll be good together.
Here's the video of the show. No subs, sorry!
http://video.sina.com.cn/m/fcjjl_62245523.html

My Views on Roy Qiu's Lovelife

So...this big thing about Roy Qiu and Tiffany Tang Yan and Tang Yan's assistant. How long has this thing been going on? And am I too late for this discussion? Whatever.
I've watched a bunch of Roy's dramas, with Tiffany in a lot of them. And they look cute together!

This is real drama and I don't know what to think of it. First of all, what is the point of Tang Yan's assistant putting up those photos, if she isn't a troll or as some people think, Roy himself. She either really truly cares about Tang Yan and wants everyone to know what kind of person Roy is, or Tiffany wants to use her assistant to hate on her ex. It's probably a mix of the two. Tiffany seems to me like she's really innocent, but I don't know if that's her image or her true self. I also disagree with the assistant saying that Roy was the one who wanted to keep the relationship a secret, because I felt like he was obvious about him liking Tiffany. I remember he put up a picture with a cake for her birthday, saying, "Happy Birthday Tang Tang. I'll eat the cake for you!", and thinking that it's totally cute.
And then Roy's weibo posts after the break up. There are about 3 possibilities. 1) He wants to act like nothing happened, because that's the best way to move on. 2) He doesn't want his fans to know how depressed he is. 3) He's a heartless douche. I really want it to be the first one.
 I'm a fan of him, but I haven't researched much about his lovelife, but according to most people, he's like Taylor Swift. I know he's had some drama with Rainie Yang and Chen Qiao En. But...eh...
Oh Tang Yan. You work with so many hot guys. Why must you fall in love with Roy and his bad history?
Although, if Roy asked me out, I would say yes without a moments hesitation, even if it means getting my fangirl heart shattered.