Break the Glass: Chapter 7 (End)

The next day, I wake up and remember what is happening. This will be the last day I will wake up here, I think to myself.

Getting out of bed took too much effort and so I stay in my pajamas. Seriously, who will care? I can tell that Michelle felt the same way. I drag my suitcase downstairs and see Bitch and her family. My parents were talking and smiling with them. What?

“Hi Michelle!” She smiles sweetly. I immediately feel self conscious about what I was wearing. Why am I so lazy? “Mom, Dad, this is the friend I've been telling you about.”

Friend? “Hi Reya,” I mumble. I give a half smile towards her parents. It occurs to me that I don't know their last name. “Nice to see you.” Nice how the last person I am going to see is her.

They start talking again and I focus my attention on the glass, avoiding the Bitch. Michelle seems a lot happier than I was. Good for her.

“Michelle.” I look towards my mother. “Would you like to show Reya Bree dear around the house?”

I was about to protest when Reya says, “Oh, Miss Aurray, that's a wonderful idea. I really need to learn my way around my new home.”

New home?

Then she grabs my arm and drags me out, purposely digging her nails into my skin. I glance at our Bodies. Why do they look like they're having so much fun?

Once we're alone, I break free and massage my arm. It's numb.

“Are you surprised to find out that my family bought your house? Well, actually, we encouraged your parents to sell this house and move. We don't really want to live here, but that's ok.”

What's going on? I am so tired. All I want is to crawl back into bed. “No, not really,” I answer truthfully.

“That's disappointing. I wanted to give you a nice surprise.” She pouts.

“Wait. But why? Why are you here and-”

She cuts me off. “Because I wanted to, you know. I get my way a lot. Don't worry, I'll take care of Darren and make sure people don't miss you too much.”

“Oh, you do that.” I don't want to know what she's planning.

“Yeah. I always keep to my word.”

“That's good.” And it's actually true. My life is pretty miserable right now, isn't it?

Break the Glass: Chapter 6

In my dream, there are no such things as Reflections and Bodies. Or maybe I am the Body. Life is so much easier. I can go anywhere, say and do anything I want, without having to make sure that my Body was doing the same thing. It is so great. I am my own person. And a better person. I have courage and confidence. I can say the things in my mind.

I was admiring myself in the mirror. Then I look around, and I'm in the park. Darren's there too. I tell him, without saying anything, that I miss him. And that I want him back. We hug tightly and we twirl. There are flower petals and butterflies flying in the air. It is so beautiful. I never want that moment to end.

Then somehow, we're rolling in a grassy field. I end up under him. He stares lovingly into my eyes. I reach up to him and we kiss for a long time. We start taking off our clothes. I'm wearing a white dress and a white cardigan. Darren is wearing a black shirt and black jeans. We probably look like a yin yang, on top of each other and wearing black and white. Perfect balance and harmony. My cardigan is off and laying crumpled in the grass. I lifted up his shirt. And stop.

His entire body is a ruined mess. He stops moving, and his arms drop to his sides, limp, but I can't take my eyes away. Slowly, I stroke his scars, feeling every bump and very occasionally smooth skin. But everything I touch starts bleeding and melting away. I realize that too late.

He opens his mouth in a silent scream, and disintegrates into nothing. I stare at his empty clothes in my lap.

I start folding the clothes, casually, as if nothing happened.

At that point, I force myself to wake up. This nap did nothing, except to make everything worse. I need a therapist. Really.

Break the Glass: Chapter 5

Dear Diary,

So many things have happened since the last time that I don't even know where to start. It feels like nothing happened. I can't remember anything, or maybe I just blocked it out. That could be true.

I decide to make a list of why I love Darren, to see if all this is worth it. After ten minutes, I look at my list. There was nothing. Well, actually, there were some reasons, but I crossed them all out. They were all obsolete now.

I remember when we first met. I had been walking around the park and then was deep in thought next to the lake. “I wish I can have a reflection,” I had said out lout.

“Sometimes I wish that too.” I hadn't realized there was someone next to me, but I look up and see this beautiful boy. All I could focus on was his dark eyes and white scars.

Then we went on having a conversation about what it meant to be a Reflection. Our first meeting had been so serious, and I felt that he was different and special.

He understood me, but evidently, not anymore.

I once read on the internet that all girls want a bad boy who's only good for them. All guys want a good girl who's only bad for them. I don't think I'm exactly good or bad, but maybe Jolin's right. Maybe I only liked him because I wanted to be rebel. Date a badass or something like that. But I feel that isn't it. His “badness” had caught my attention, but it wasn't the only thing.

Scars fade, feelings fade, I tell myself. It's not a big deal if you can't find reasons to love him anymore. He doesn't. Why should you?

But I keep obsessing over it, because that's just what I do.

Maybe I'm not as independent from my Body as I think. Maybe she still loved him a little after the break up. Now she's moving on, taking me with her.

Then I remember how sad Darren was, how he wouldn't look at me, and how I wanted to cry. Bitch has kept to her word to make our lives miserable.

The phone rings and all my thoughts disperse. No one ever calls me. What is this? I set the empty list down and run to my bed where my phone is. I see the caller ID. It's Ashley.

“Hello?”

“Michelle!” Her voice is urgent. “Something really bad just happened!”

Break the Glass: Chapter 4

Dear Diary,

Last week was the longest week in my life. That doesn't mean that nothing happened though. There was A LOT of drama. Like, more than necessary. First, Darren's ex pushed her way into my life by becoming friends with Kathy. I usually don't see Kathy after school because she has dance practice, but now, I hardly see her in school. She doesn't even sit with me and Ashley at lunch. I wonder how Michelle feels about this stuff. She's probably going through the same shit as me.

What made me really happy though, is today. For some reason, Ashley's Body decided to take Michelle to a carnival/festival thing. It's as if they knew about the problems I've been having and that I deserve a break. So of course Ashley and I went along too. I'm not really sure what it was, but it was fun. I didn't see any bitches at all, and that was great.

The only awkward part was when our Bodies went in the House of Mirrors. That wasn't as fun. Imagine having to be in hundreds of places at once. I once read a book where people were “unwound”. People's body parts were separated, but their souls were still intact, so they could see and feel and be aware of everything. That's how I felt. Whoever invented this House thing better be burning in hell.

Ok. I admit, that was a bit harsh. But it was horrible.

It was even worse than those weird mirror things where us Reflections were stretched and messed up.

Break the Glass: Chapter 3 (Updated 4/9/2013)

(Why is my format all messed up?)

Dear Diary,

My life is so empty now. During the drama in the past few days, I've lost Darren. He was pretty much the most important person in my life! I feel like I lost my friends too. Talking to Kathy is awkward. I don't know why though. I'm not even mad at her. Ashley is still on her cruise. Will she be talking to me even if she was here? I don't know, but I hope so.

My life is so sad that I want school to start, even if it means sitting through boring lectures and hanging out in bathrooms all day.

The last few days of winter break were the worst. I didn't do anything, other than sitting in front of my laptop all day, everyday, wallowing in self pity. I became more and more nervous about school. What are people going to say? I'm not popular, pretty nerdy, in fact, but Darren is much higher in the social hierarchy. And now that we're over, what are they all going to say? The good thing is I only have two classes with Darren. Lunch and gym. I don't have to talk to him in those, but I was still scared. I can't help it!

For some reason, Michelle only needs me for lunch and gym, because of unnecessary mirrors and reflective surfaces. Someone got a new shiny water bottle for Christmas. I think that is pretty stupid. 
On the way there, a random guy called out to me. I guess he's Darren's friend. “So you ain't Darren's girl no more?"
I mumble something along the lines of, "Umm . . .yeah?" and awkwardly run towards the cafeteria. When Ashley finally shows up, I forget about the random thing that just happened and immediately blurt, “Oh my god! You are so tan!” It is the truth and also the first thing I noticed. Then I realize I have to apologize. “Oh, and sorry about last time.” Pretty much the same thing I said to Kathy.

“It's ok. I can't ever stay mad at you,” I let out a sigh of relief. I still have a friend. “Because there's always something important I have to tell you, like right now.” That's why I love Ashley.

“What?”

“Did you know there's a new girl?”

No. No I do not. “Umm, no. What new girl?”

“Eh . . . she's not really new anymore. She came before winter break, but I just saw her today.”

Interesting. “Oh. What does she look like?”

“Umm, she's blonde and-” She stops and half points behind me. “She's right there.”

I really want to turn my head, but Michelle doesn't, so of course I can't. “Tell Michelle to turn her head! I want to see!” Ashley finds it amusing. I think that is sadistic of her. Then, magically, Michelle turns around. I smile, but it's wiped straight off my face when I actually see the new girl. Is this the right time to use “curiosity killed the cat”?

“Why is she talking to Darren? That's so not allowed!”

Break the Glass: Chapter 2

Dear Diary,

Nothing much has changed since last time I wrote. My life is still pretty messed up, but now I'm really lonely too. It's winter break and Michelle decided that she (we) should stay home and rot. Ashley is on a cruise, because her Body's family has the time and money to do that. Kathy is practicing, as usual. Have I mentioned before that she's a dancer? Well, she is, and dancing requires a lot of mirror time. I haven't seen her in a long time. I don't think I remember what she looks like. Just kidding. So there's no one I can confide into except this diary.

I'm not sure if I'm avoiding Darren, or he's hiding from me. Maybe it's both. Or we just can't find each other.

I stop writing, because I realize just how much I miss him. So I get up and go to my favorite place: in front of the computer. Technically, it's a laptop. Other people would get their phone and text, but I don't like to. There's no reason. I'm just special.

I open up chat, and stare at the screen. I can't exactly write “Hi. Are you avoiding me? Just wondering, so I can get rid of one of the options.” Although, I wonder how he would respond to that.

Hi. How are you? That sounds too formal. I don't want to act like we're strangers.

Hey, watcha doin? How about no.

Hi. What are you doing? No.

So I settle on “Hey”. I'm not sure if he's even online, because he is almost always on invisible. Then I see on the bottom of the screen that he's typing. That's a good sign, I guess.

Darren: Hi. How's winter break?

That's such an awkward question.

Me: Lonely.

Without you.

Wow, I can't believe I just wrote that. He probably thinks I'm desperate. Can I just tell him that I miss him? Probably not.

Break the Glass: Chapter 1

I stare at the girl on the other side of the glass and copy what she was doing. The girl, Michelle, has a dreadfully boring bathroom routine. It is the same every day. In the morning, she would brush her teeth, use the toilet, put in her contacts and pretty herself up. At night, she would brush her teeth, use the toilet, take out her contacts, and wash off the makeup.

Sometimes, she would sing. She thinks that she’s a great singer, but I won't know better. The glass in soundproof. Michelle always seems to enjoy herself though. Occasionally, there would be a spider hiding in a corner, and I would go through the moves of freaking out. I don’t know why she’s so scared of them. Then, Michelle would finally finish everything and I would leave the glass, ready to jump in whenever.

It’s a tricky job, having to copy everything Michelle does, but I have to. I live in the Reflection World.

Long ago, the Bodies and Reflections lived side by side without the need of a barrier, friendly and cooperative. Both needed each other to live, but at one point in time, the Reflections felt the unjust. We looked the same, but had no free will of our own and were so commonly taken for granted. So there was the Revolt. The Bodies seemed to have forgotten, but we don’t have the chance. The story of humiliating defeat and becoming locked up behind the glass is the story passed down the generations.

Even though we were locked up and the Bodies forgot we’re alive, we still have a connection with each other.

I think about saying goodbye to my parents, but Michelle runs out of the house. We reach the bus just in time. I get on and settle in. It'll be a while before Darren's stop. One good thing about being a Reflection is that I don't have to do anything to make friends. Or boyfriends. The Reflection of my Body's boyfriend is automatically mine. I look outside the window and make up stories about the people we pass. That girl screaming at her phone is arguing with her boyfriend. They're going to break up tonight. That kitten over there is actually the leader of a cat gang and is plotting how to overthrow humans.